We shall break transition further so we can recognise the stages of transition. Knowing where you are in a transition, knowing that your feelings will pass and that they are almost normal will help you control what is happening and move through the transition easily. there are seven stages to this as to how your feelings will change over the course of the transition. Self esteem will rise and fall as one courses through the transition. for example compare and see for your self how you feel on a good day and on a bad day.
Your self esteem is very important to how you feel. it means how you rate yourself, your feelings of self worth. this can be influenced by all sorts of things: How you feel phisically, how things are going at work and in your daily life how other people are responding to you.
On a good day every thing goes smoothly, family and friends are co-operative and show their appreciation. At work to you raise to new challenges and enjoy them. You feel so good about yourself that you can take on anything. because you feel so good so strong and so positive it seems you create your own luck. every thing goes well for you its a good day. (notice how the people around contribute to your self worth.)
On a bad day these are days when nothing goes right. Your family is at odds with you, you feel tired, and less able to cope. perhaps you are being asked more than is reasonable at work and your daily activity. Because you are trying to do too much you become increasingly tired and suffer feelings of helplessness. the more powerless you feel to change the situation . the more your self esteem suffers. if this goes on too long you may end up feeling worthless. as if it is all your own fault, but it is the situation that has affected your view of yourself.
Stages:
1. Numbness
The first phase is largely characterised by shock. it is a kind of immobilisation or a sense of being overwhelmed: of being unable to make plans, unable to reason, unable to understand, you freeze up. the more unfamiliar the transition the stronger the sense of immobilisation. In bereavement, for example, many people feel strange because of the absence of feeling; but it is normal to feel numb at this stage. if you feel positive about the transition then this will be less intense. (Eg getting married)
2. Minimisation/ Denial.
The movement from numbness to denial does not feel any different at the time it is happening because it is characterised by minimisation of the change or disruption by trivialising it. very often we try to deny the change even exists. great if you have got a new job or say a baby, may be less appropriate if you have been sacked.
At this time the feeling is this is not as bad as I expected. the apparent ease of the transition is because the body is building up its defences for the full impact of the transition which is yet to come.
This is often the high energy stage because with a transition say like bereavement the person is often at the center of attention from friends and relatives. with transition say promotion, the denial stage may be a refusal to recognise some of the real changes that will take place, for example the loss of workmates, new responsibilities.
and the uncertainty about being able to do the new job.
3. Self Doubt or depression.
Eventually, for most people, the realities of the change and the resulting stress begin to become apparent. As one becomes aware that they must make some changes in the way they are living, as they become aware of the realities involved, sometimes people become uncertain. self doubt is often a feeling of powerlessness, of aspects of life being out of our control. this can happen even when the transition is eagerly anticipated, not only when it is feared.
this stage has occasionally high energy periods. often characterised by anger, before sliding back into a feeling of hopelessness. one may become frustrated because it seems difficult to know how best to cope with the new life requirements, the new ways of being the new relationships that have been established.
4. Acceptance or reality / letting go.
As one gradually becomes aware of their new reality, they are ready to move into the fourth phase, which is accepting the transition for what it is. letting go may be gradual three steps forward two steps back etc. to move from phase three to this phase four is like a process of unhooking from the past and accepting well here I am now. this is what I have and i can survive. may not be sure of what one wants yet but one would survive, this is the new reality. feelings rise once more and it becomes optimistic.
5. Testing.
This is a phase of intense activity and one may even test oneself in the new situation. trying out new behaviour new lifestyles etc, new ways of coping with the transition. there is a lot of personal energy during this phase.
6. Search for meaning.
following the burst of energy and self testing there is a gradual shift towards understanding, weighing the pros and cons, wanting to know the meaning of this change and how it would affect ones future, and the sense of who we are. only on finding the meaning of the change can one move to the next stage or else there will be further testing of alternatives till a right one that fits is found. this finding is important.
7. Internalisation.
This stage is one of the transition being accepted. we can move into internalising all the meanings and incorporating them into our changed behaviour, or routines or life styles. Acceptance is therefore crucial.
when we allow ourselves to move forward and finally reach the stage of internalisation it can be like rebirth, we can feel like a bright new butterfly.
Understanding the stages of transition will help one cope with ones feelings and move forward. Like all skills this transition and handling it takes practice. all the best.
Your self esteem is very important to how you feel. it means how you rate yourself, your feelings of self worth. this can be influenced by all sorts of things: How you feel phisically, how things are going at work and in your daily life how other people are responding to you.
On a good day every thing goes smoothly, family and friends are co-operative and show their appreciation. At work to you raise to new challenges and enjoy them. You feel so good about yourself that you can take on anything. because you feel so good so strong and so positive it seems you create your own luck. every thing goes well for you its a good day. (notice how the people around contribute to your self worth.)
On a bad day these are days when nothing goes right. Your family is at odds with you, you feel tired, and less able to cope. perhaps you are being asked more than is reasonable at work and your daily activity. Because you are trying to do too much you become increasingly tired and suffer feelings of helplessness. the more powerless you feel to change the situation . the more your self esteem suffers. if this goes on too long you may end up feeling worthless. as if it is all your own fault, but it is the situation that has affected your view of yourself.
Stages:
1. Numbness
The first phase is largely characterised by shock. it is a kind of immobilisation or a sense of being overwhelmed: of being unable to make plans, unable to reason, unable to understand, you freeze up. the more unfamiliar the transition the stronger the sense of immobilisation. In bereavement, for example, many people feel strange because of the absence of feeling; but it is normal to feel numb at this stage. if you feel positive about the transition then this will be less intense. (Eg getting married)
2. Minimisation/ Denial.
The movement from numbness to denial does not feel any different at the time it is happening because it is characterised by minimisation of the change or disruption by trivialising it. very often we try to deny the change even exists. great if you have got a new job or say a baby, may be less appropriate if you have been sacked.
At this time the feeling is this is not as bad as I expected. the apparent ease of the transition is because the body is building up its defences for the full impact of the transition which is yet to come.
This is often the high energy stage because with a transition say like bereavement the person is often at the center of attention from friends and relatives. with transition say promotion, the denial stage may be a refusal to recognise some of the real changes that will take place, for example the loss of workmates, new responsibilities.
and the uncertainty about being able to do the new job.
3. Self Doubt or depression.
Eventually, for most people, the realities of the change and the resulting stress begin to become apparent. As one becomes aware that they must make some changes in the way they are living, as they become aware of the realities involved, sometimes people become uncertain. self doubt is often a feeling of powerlessness, of aspects of life being out of our control. this can happen even when the transition is eagerly anticipated, not only when it is feared.
this stage has occasionally high energy periods. often characterised by anger, before sliding back into a feeling of hopelessness. one may become frustrated because it seems difficult to know how best to cope with the new life requirements, the new ways of being the new relationships that have been established.
4. Acceptance or reality / letting go.
As one gradually becomes aware of their new reality, they are ready to move into the fourth phase, which is accepting the transition for what it is. letting go may be gradual three steps forward two steps back etc. to move from phase three to this phase four is like a process of unhooking from the past and accepting well here I am now. this is what I have and i can survive. may not be sure of what one wants yet but one would survive, this is the new reality. feelings rise once more and it becomes optimistic.
5. Testing.
This is a phase of intense activity and one may even test oneself in the new situation. trying out new behaviour new lifestyles etc, new ways of coping with the transition. there is a lot of personal energy during this phase.
6. Search for meaning.
following the burst of energy and self testing there is a gradual shift towards understanding, weighing the pros and cons, wanting to know the meaning of this change and how it would affect ones future, and the sense of who we are. only on finding the meaning of the change can one move to the next stage or else there will be further testing of alternatives till a right one that fits is found. this finding is important.
7. Internalisation.
This stage is one of the transition being accepted. we can move into internalising all the meanings and incorporating them into our changed behaviour, or routines or life styles. Acceptance is therefore crucial.
when we allow ourselves to move forward and finally reach the stage of internalisation it can be like rebirth, we can feel like a bright new butterfly.
Understanding the stages of transition will help one cope with ones feelings and move forward. Like all skills this transition and handling it takes practice. all the best.
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