Shashi Tharoor’s letter to PM Modi after he was invited to lead an all-party delegation as part of India’s diplomatic outreach following Operation Sindoor:
Dear Prime Minister,
In reciprocation to your recent epistolary overture, I am impelled, indeed epistemologically coerced into articulating my gratitude via a prolix palimpsest of sesquipedalian syntax, lest a pedestrian expression be deemed a lexical misdemeanor unbecoming of this magnanimous interlude.
The conspicuous concatenation of your executive discretion with my rhetorical propensities precipitates an ontological juxtaposition that, while perplexing to the cynically disenchanted, is axiomatic to the Platonic ideal of governance transcending ideological parallax.
Your solicitation of my dialectical faculties to represent India’s post-kinetic strategic imperatives on multilateral podiums is not merely an act of bipartisan politesse. It's a semiotic calibration in favour of para-institutional intellect, wrapped in the velveteen glove of realpolitik.
Let me, therefore, not insult the grandeur of your gesture by responding with jejune platitudes. Rather, I proffer this peroration: That I shall, with alacritous gravitas and polyglottic finesse, transmute India’s heterogenous anxieties into diplomatically palatable phonemes, calibrated for variegated epistemic receptors across hemispheric constellations.
Should this venture culminate in epistemological transcendence or geopolitical vertigo, I remain, as ever, your loquacious interlocutor in the theatre of national exigency.
With obsequious syntactic humility,
Dr. Shashi Tharoor😯🤔😀
Prime Minister, Modi’s reply is here:
Dear Dr. Tharoor,
Your letter, a veritable tapestry of linguistic acrobatics, has left my office both dazzled and slightly dizzy, as if caught in a whirlwind of Webster’s finest. I must confess, my team briefly considered hiring a lexicographer to decode your epistolary exuberance, but we settled for a strong cup of chai and a thesaurus instead.8
Your enthusiasm for leading the all-party delegation post-Operation Sindoor is noted with the same delight one feels when untangling a particularly knotty Diwali light string. Rest assured, your sesquipedalian flair will be the perfect garnish to our diplomatic curry, adding just the right zest to soothe global palates. We trust you’ll wield your polyglottic prowess to transform any geopolitical vertigo into a harmonious waltz of words, leaving international audiences charmed, if mildly bewildered.
As for your fear of jejune platitudes, worry not—your response is about as jejune as a peacock in a monsoon. I look forward to your oratorical fireworks, confident that you’ll represent India with the gravitas of a statesman and the sparkle of a literary rockstar. Just one small request: perhaps keep a pocket dictionary handy for our friends abroad. Not everyone has your… vocabulary verve.
With a chuckle and a nod to your syntactic sorcery,
Narendra Modi Prime Minister of India
(P.S. My speechwriter wants to know if you’re available for lessons!)
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